“I’ve got them on the list”

A piece of fun remembering the transition from Grammar School to Comprehensive in the early 70s.  To be sung to the tune of ‘I’ve got a little list’ from the Mikado.

 

Those pubs we used to hide in and never could be found

I’ve got a little list–I’ve got a little list

Six Bells and ancient Birdcage our sorrows there we drowned

We were always bloody pissed—were we always bloody pissed?

 

There was smoking in the staff room, and down the rifle range

And school on Saturday morning – now that was really strange

The road race was a nightmare, cross country even worse

And for some the Wenman merger was nothing but perverse

Those new girls were just horrendous and best to be unkissed

They’d none of ’em be missed—well some of ‘em be missed!

 

There’s the Trout Mask evangelasists, and others of their ilk,

The young piano-organist—yes Howard’s on the list!

The girls who wore Bay tartan and the boys with hands of guilt

They never would be missed–they never would be missed!

And teachers staring blankly and who only could bemoan,

Those long-haired screeching singers whose voices had no tone;

And the lady from dance drama, who dressed up like a guy,

Who said “forget the rugby, it’s this that you should try’

And that curious anomaly, the female footballist

I don’t think she’d be missed–I’m sure she’d not be missed!

 

Long lost Bay Tree and Malt House, whose teas were rather fine,

I’ve got them on the list!–I’ve got them on the list!

The Passion and the Requiem, Macbeth, and Private Lives

Those days we really miss—those days we really miss.

Unapologetic teachers the  uncompromising kind,

Who filled our lives with knowledge, and ensured we had a mind

Like tip of my tongue and What’s-his-name, and also You-know-who–

The task of filling up the blanks I’d rather leave to you.

But it really doesn’t matter who you put upon this list,

For all of ’em are missed–yes all of ’em are missed!

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